Transcendence Made (somewhat) Easy
You may be familiar with Abraham Maslow, especially his Hierarchy of Needs. Still, you should check out Transcend by Scott Barry Kaufman. It’s a deep dive into all things Maslow, from what he really meant to say (it was never a pyramid!) to what the science has proven about his ambitious theories. Then, to the point: what is self-actualization, and should it be our goal?
Yes, we need security: safety, connection, and self-esteem. From there, we can begin to grow; that is, to explore, love, and develop purpose. But how? Although a very personal and individual pursuit, growth and self-actualization contain some tangible, universal ideas.
Just a taste of what you might try:
Think of a time that you experienced true awe. Seek out more of this. Awe reflects an openness to experience. People who are open to new experiences are then more likely to experience love, creativity, and self-awareness. Openness fosters non-judgement, curiosity, and connection with community. These are the antidotes to loneliness, neuroticism, and over-comparison (familiar, anyone?).
Strive for growth, not happiness. Develop growth-oriented values: self-acceptance, intimacy, and community connections. This means working to ditch those stingy extrinsic, status-oriented values like money, image, and popularity. It turns out that status-oriented values only go so far. They not only don’t lead to happiness, but they ultimately distract and detract from growth. It’s ok to seek different values for different reasons at certain times. Just keep them in check! And work toward long-term, growth-oriented values along the way.
One of my favorite, simple take-aways from the research is this: wise people remain skeptical of their own views and are willing to self-reflect with compassion and humility. When we are unafraid of ourselves, we can stay curious about our feelings, actions, relationships, and lives. Pretty simple to say, but hard to do.
If you like to nerd out on this stuff, check out the book. Highly recommend (although I am one of those nerds).