Orchids and Dandelions
Lately, a lot of people are feeling dismayed or even afraid, leading me to seek solace in some of the smaller things we can still study, understand, and control.
Have you heard of the Orchid/Dandelion Theory? It’s no small thing, but it’s a bit of a niche discovery that informs how we know ourselves and raise our children. When I first read this 2009 article, I was riveted:
https://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2009/12/the-science-of-success/307761/
I guess it ages me. I still love its twists and turns, including the author’s self-discovery, so check it out if you have the time. If a deep dive’s not for you, this recap will do:
As a slightly more complex take on nature vs. nurture, researchers are learning more about the interaction between genes and environment. Genes are like information packed in boxes. Environment unpacks the boxes leading to certain outcomes. Psychologists had already identified stress diathesis and genetic vulnerability models, but the orchid hypothesis (a.k.a. plasticity hypothesis, sensitivity hypothesis, or differential-susceptibility hypothesis) suggests something new. In our field, fighting over what to call it means it’s so interesting that everyone wants credit for it.
So let’s set the labels aside and get to the idea, which is that some people are born as orchids (delicate flowers) and others are born as dandelions (hearty weeds).*
Orchids are shy, tend to withdraw from novelty, have sensory sensitivities, and respond more sensitively to their environment, resulting in either poor or especially good mental health
Dandelions are often extroverted, comfortable in novel situations, and tend to have average physical and mental health in both low and high stress settings
When raising an orchid child, the same gene might lead to very different expressions- either high vulnerability and risk for poor outcomes OR higher possibility, plasticity, and good outcomes. High risk, high reward, all based on environment. To quote the Atlantic article:
“With a bad environment and poor parenting, orchid children can end up depressed, drug-addicted, or in jail - but with the right environment and good parenting, they can grow up to be society’s most creative, successful, and happy people.”
You might wonder if you are an orchid or a dandelion, or perhaps a combination of both? If you are a parent or teacher, consider these key takeaways to best nurture all children, but especially orchids:
Recognize and allow the expression of each child’s true self
Maintain routines
Provide steadfast, consistent love
Encourage imaginative play
Balance fear with mastery
Most of these are self-explanatory, and again, serve as guidelines when raising all children, but especially orchids. But the last one - balancing fear with mastery - can be especially cconfusing for parents and teachers. Fear is often front of mind in the shy, reserved, sensitive child. Loving adults should validate fear while gently nudging them to take appropriate risks that could blossom into mastery, exploration, and self-expression.
*Spoiler alert: it turns out humans are really complicated and don’t fit in neat categories. More recently, we think also of tulips (people with characteristics of both orchids and dandelions) and even mosaic children:
There’s also a well written book on Orchid Theory:
https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/530005/the-orchid-and-the-dandelion-by-w-thomas-boyce/